But! It's definitely getting here. I can now officially say we're having a baby NEXT MONTH. Which is absolutely INSANE. Like Shaun T Insanity insane (please tell me I'm not the only one who gets sucked into these infomercials and think they're the most amazing product ever and have to force myself not to get them all??).
Last night was interesting. As I was getting off work, I suddenly had extreme pain in my ribs and could not catch my breath for the life of me...as in, I would get out of breath just TALKING to someone. After four and a half hours of that, with nothing I tried helping (walking, laying on my side, rocking on all fours), I called the on call doctor and was advised to go into labor and delivery to get checked out. So I went in and baby and I got hooked up to some monitors and I got an IV of fluid. I think that an IV of saline solution is the catch-all treatment for most pregnancy-related ills. Not that I'm complaining - have you ever had one? You feel AMAZING afterward. I have a friend who worked in the Washington DC press pool, and he said the secret service would always give themselves IVs of saline solution after long nights. God, I can only imagine all the stories that he CAN'T tell us. I want to know all the dirt! Can you imagine what someone in that position has seen and heard? I want political gossip! I want the dirt!
Okay, tangent over. Back to what's REALLY important: my fetus!
Anyway, they checked both of us out. My lung capacity was diminished on both sides, but both baby and I were fine on oxygen saturation. The first thing that the L&D nurse brought up as a possibility was that she (baby, not nurse) had moved into a transverse position. As soon as she (nurse, not baby) said that, the light clicked - earlier in the day I'd felt hiccups in a high side position and movement had been odd since then. Sure enough, within an hour or so of arriving at the hospital, there was a giant wave of movement (that hilariously set off all the sensors) and an almost immediate sense of relief. DUR. Despite the fact that the resident doctor lady later diagnosed it as something different (something about rib cartilage swelling; I can't remember exactly) I'm pretty certain that the first nurse was right: baby girl had decided to wedge all 6 pounds of her body horizontally in the foot of space between my ribs. Even though it was a moronic reason to go to the hospital, I don't regret it - the pain was truly excruciating, so I'm glad we were able to get it checked out. Plus she probably wouldn't have decided to move at home; I think she was just showing the medical community what an idiot her mother was. And as they always say during pregnancy: better safe than sorry.
I had my regularly scheduled doctor's appointment this morning, and baby girl is still looking good. No news on her size (the six pound mentioned above is an estimate) since they only measure that every other appointment, but she is still a she and she still has hair (possibly curly?? The tech asked if either of us had curly hair...hmmm).
I think these were from last week, so 33 weeks. Ish.
Here are the most recent, from a wedding on Sunday. Hello, boobs. You're looking mighty fantastic. And a rare appearance from Chris, my baby daddy! The oft-mentioned but rarely seen love of my life.
And here is what happens when you try to take a picture of yourself and your belly classic MySpace 16 and Pregnant style: you can't fit your entire friggin belly into the frame because it's so huge.
OH. And. AND. I have to share. The cutest ever on-sale-Old-Navy-impulse-purchase EVER. It was actually in the baby boy section, but hello? Pandas and green? Totally gender neutral. (Please don't tell her it came from the boy's section; she's going to have enough gender confusion as it is thanks to her boy's room [according to Chris] SO NOT A BOY'S ROOM [according to me]). She might wear this every day until she grows out of it or it dissolves off of her body from caked-on baby puke.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THE CUTENESS OH MY GOD HOW WILL ANYONE BE ABLE TO RESIST HER IN THIS OUTFIT??? I WANT TO EAT IT UP AND THERE'S NOT EVEN A BABY IN IT.