2011. It is supposed to be the GOOD year. It is supposed to be the year of happy endings and amazing firsts.
So why did it start out by giving my family a big "Fuck you"?
My 13 year year old cousin died today. She hung herself. Her 12-year-old brother, my godson, found her.
I can't even process this. It's too fucked up to even think about. She is - was - actually my cousin's daughter, but in my family we're all so close we never really differentiated. There's not a big gap between the youngest cousin and her - only a year or so, if that - so everyone was just "the cousins." I talked to her mom today to see if she wanted me to come get my godson, and it was absolutely the most heartbreaking thing I've ever done. The raw grief...I've lost a child, but this was completely different. I could hear her heart breaking over and over.
Fuck this. Seriously.