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Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Baby Squish : 18 Weeks

First things first.

1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40

Sooo close to halfway. C'mon, next two weeks!  Also, I just noticed that I started at 1 - as if weeks one through four count for anything. Ha! Oh, well, makes me look further along visually. More to cross off. It's like making a to-do list and adding things that you've already finished just so you can cross them off. That's not just me, is it?

Obligatory three-pregnancy-comparison-pic (Caleb first, then Carys, then Squish on the bottom).  I was definitely smaller with Carys than with Caleb. This one....well, it seems to be growing outward more from boob to pelvis, rather than a slow slope downward and out, but about the same overall as Carys.  Can we talk about my ass? Specifically, current lack of one?  I used to have a decent butt, and it all but disappeared towards the end of my pregnancy with Carys and never came back.

Sadly, that will be my first and only three-pregnancy-comparison picture, as my water broke before I got to 19 weeks and I never took another belly picture with him.

Specifically, at 18 weeks and 5 days pregnant, my water broke with Caleb. He was born at 19 weeks, 3 days. So these next two weeks are completely nerve-wracking for me and I'll just be floating along in a cloud of anxiety until those milestones pass, I think.  I'd kind of like to ask the doctor if I could just come live in the OB office, hooked up to an ultrasound machine, for the next two weeks. Actually, make that til 24 weeks.  But the cerclage did its job with Carys, and I just have to trust that it will continue to do so with this kid. 

This has been my favorite week so far, because I can feel Squish moving - very lightly, and not often, but it's there. I never felt Caleb, and it wasn't until closer to 20 weeks that I felt Carys (though all three have been insanely active during ultrasounds).  I absolutely cannot wait until later, when I can feel it from the outside and see the shifts and rolls and bulges. 

I actually got started cleaning out the storage room, only to discover that our dog had at some point peed on the carpet. WONDERFUL. Don't you love those little disgusting surprises?  I got out all my stuff and all our shared stuff, and now all that's left is approximately five tons of Chris's old computer parts and cables and wires. Along with a few pieces of furniture that will immediately be Craigslisted, once I can free them from the clutches of a thousand feet of computer wires. 

I also hung a bunch of newborn size clothes (all gender-neutral - don't get too excited!) in the closet, hoping that seeing them there would make it more real.  It didn't really work.  I'm still in a weird world of denial. Not active denial - I want to be pregnant and I know I am! - but I still don't really FEEL pregnant and it still hasn't really sunk in yet.  Maybe when the kid is being pulled out of me it will finally feel real? Maybe when they had him or her to me? Maybe when I'm listening to two babies cry for me and I'm wondering what the hell I did it will feel real?

One last covered belly pic - which I love because I look TEEEENY, which I am not in any way.

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