Drop-Down Menu

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Warning: Naked Gross Belly Pics

I warned you. Although I guess since they're right here you didn't really have a choice to look away. But now I'm giving you the chance to look away before you REALLY look at them closely.

18 weeks with Rainbow Baby on the left; 18 weeks with Caleb on the right (or if you have your aspect ratio set up all screwy and dumb like some people I know, the new one will be on top and Caleb will be on bottom). I think on both of these I was closer to 18.5 weeks but close enough.


Huh. Am I actually smaller this time?? I thought I was much bigger.  This must be how people have ten kids. They forget so quickly.  For comparison, here's where I started. Actually this is at 6 weeks so here's where I started plus two weeks of bloating. Bloat is a serious thing. You should see my 12 week pictures; they're bigger than my 16 week ones.  


Goodbye forever, old body. I should have appreciated you while I had you and had a few more crazy times.  I never did have a one-night stand with a little person and Angelina Jolie.  Now I never will, what with the all the "grown-up" "mom" responsibilities I'll be taking on.  Sob.

JUST KIDDING RAINBOW BABY I LOVE YOU DESPITE ALL THE INEVITABLE STRETCH MARKS AND MANGLED BROKEN VAGINAS AND LACK OF IRRESPONSIBLE THREESOMES I WILL HAVE PLEASE STICK AROUND.

Actually since I'm having a c-section one thing I won't have to worry about is a mangled broken vagina. A deli meat catastrophe, if you will (Darbi, are you reading this???).  Chris and I joke about it whenever someone on TV makes a joke about childbirth ruining the goods (which happens far more often than you'd think). "No floppy vagina! High five for surgery!"  Don't worry. I know most vaginas make it through just fine and are perfectly normal afterward. Believing otherwise is really just a coping mechanism to make myself feel better about the fact that I'll never have the natural hippy dippy water birth with herbs and doves and incense and my baby delivered gently into the hands of a wood sprite sitting atop a dolphin that I wanted.

P.S. This child had better appreciate the fact that I ate BEETS today instead of mashed potatoes because I know that beets are a "nutritional powerhouse" and mashed potatoes just taste delicious. YOU OWE ME.

P.P.S. I've gained six pounds so far. I don't know if that's good or bad. Probably bad since the baby weighs like 8 ounces right now.

4 comments:

  1. hahah, long live the DMC!!! ;) I think your vagina will always be beautiful, as well as your future labors..and your body. Love you, girlie!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You look beautiful! High five for intact Vajayjays. :-) Oh and I'll take those mashed potatoes for ya so you aren't tempted with them.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Lara, I don't know you, I just found your site through the PPROM Loss page, and wanted to wish you luck with this pregnancy. I love your sense of humour, and will be following along and cheering from Australia.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Good post and Smart Blog
    Thanks for your good information and i hope to subscribe and visit my blog Articles2day.Org and more The Selection of Media thanks again admin

    ReplyDelete