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Friday, September 30, 2011

Big Brother

For some reason, I really miss Caleb today.  I know many people assume that because we have Carys (beautiful, sweet, snuggly Carys) I'm over the loss of him and that it's okay...but that's not how it works, unfortunately. Sometimes I look at her and think of the older brother that I should be entreating to "leave the baby alone!" Sometimes I'm at the store and I see "Little Sister" shirts that she should get to wear, rightfully, but never will. Sometimes an outfit for a boy who should have just turned one (his due date was September 3) jumps out at me and I'll wish I had my little boy at home to buy it for.  It creeps up on you, too, when it's least expected. Nothing particular happened today to make me think of him. Maybe it was the subtle sound of the breeze whispering through the trees that reminded me of his birthday, or maybe it was absolutely nothing, and I just needed to remember him today.

I wish you were here, buddy.

7 comments:

  1. I wish he was here with you.....totally understand everything in this post.

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  2. :( Big sister shirts are hard for me. Natalie should wear them, but she won't. It's sad. So much love to you lady.

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  3. I have oft wondered if you still think about him in those situations

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  4. Little sister shirts sting me as well. Wish our boys were here with their little sisters!

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  5. I know how you feel. I love you, Caleb and Carys

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  6. I actually think more about Adrian since having Emma. I think of all that he and we missed out on. It is sad. But I am so happy to have her and she keeps me busy, so I can't get too sad.

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  7. Sending hugs your way. Keep your head up...and keep in mind Carys wouldn't exist as she is without things having happened the way they did. Hang on to the solace that she IS a little sister...always. And as soon as she's old enough, you can tell her in a beautiful way so she can remember him too. xoxox

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