It's actually hard to believe I've known I'm pregnant for two weeks. It's going pretty quickly - I hope the rest of the first trimester continues in the same vein. 12 weeks, and then 24 weeks. Those are the huge milestones for someone with previous pregnancy loss. If I can just get to those two milestones I'll be able to relax a bit. Maybe.
I had a doctor appointment on Friday, and officially got the due date of 12/12. That kind of puts a damper in my plans for a 12/12 baby, since the chances of having my c-section scheduled on my due date are slim to none. The 12/12 due date is based on the first day of my last period (LMP), which would have put me at 6 weeks and 1 day at the ultrasound. Based on ovulation, I should be due 12/20 (and should have measured 5 weeks at the ultrasound); however, the baby actually measured 5 weeks and 4 days (go baby!). Because there was less than a week difference between the actual measurement of the baby and the LMP date, they stuck with the LMP date. After thinking about it, it really kind of sucks - because of my scheduled C-section, the baby will already be coming a week early, and if they are dating the pregnancy an additional week early, that means that the baby will come closer to 38 weeks than to 40 weeks. So in order to let the kid bake as long as possible, I'm hoping that they'll be willing to wait until 12/12, but I'll hold off and see what the kid does in terms of growth over the next few appointments. If he or she is consistently measuring a few days behind, I might pressure them to revise the due date once again.
Other developments this week:
- A crippling fear that I'm ruining Carys's life by bringing in sibling. Totally normal, I'm told. And may stick around for a little while even after delivery, I'm told. I just keep thinking about how much I adore my siblings, and how I don't really remember whether my life was affected going from only child to big sister, and hoping that Carys is the same. I sit with her and have all this quiet time and one-on-one time, and I know that's going to go largely by the wayside, and it's a little sad to think about. I'll definitely try to do what I can to have alone time with both kids at different times, but it's never going to be the same again, and of course that's scary.
- Massive and scary cramping earlier this week that rendered me unable to sleep. Apparently normal, especially the second time. But I thought that any minute my uterus was going to explode.
- Slight morning sickness started yesterday. GOOD TIMES. At the moment, I'm strongly feeling like eating a gross, smushed, greasy burger from Burger King smothered in ketchup. WTF.