Yesterday after work I went to Whole Foods, because I figured there couldn't possibly be a better way to entice this baby to stick around than to drop $200 on three day's worth of food. While I was walking down an aisle, I just started to cry. I'm still not entirely sure why - I don't think you can blame hormones at 4 weeks - but I just got overwhelmed with the thought of another pregnancy. It just seems so impossible that I could actually be bringing a baby home in nine months. Then I got home and had that tiniest bit of brown spotting and just...well, not gave up, but certainly put it in a box and put that box under the couch where our dog hides his broken toys. Out of site, out of mind, out of heart.
I decided to call this morning to see if I could get my betas drawn, just to see if it's even a viable pregnancy. Isn't that terrible? Most women in my position assume it IS; most baby loss mamas assume it ISN'T. Sigh. Jaded bitches, the lot of us. The doctor's office agreed and I got in right away, and they just called back with the results.
531 at 16 days post ovulation.
I think I'm having triplets.
The average number for triplets at that time is 526, so maybe actually it's quads.
Kidding. For a singleton pregnancy the average is 203, but the range of normal is ENORMOUS - like 4 to 9,000. So I'm well within normal, even for a singleton pregnancy. And no one in my family has ever had twins, and we weren't on any fertility meds, so I think I'm good.
What really matters is that the 531 turns into over 1062 within 72 hours. The doubling time is the thing that counts. So I go back Friday for my second blood draw, and if it's over 1000, then they call it good until my first appointment on the 1st.
Fingers crossed. I can't believe I let myself get even a little excited. Knock on wood. Again. My knuckles are raw.
And as always: Today I am pregnant, and today I love my baby.